Mommyhood

Motherhood In Words


I’ve been mommy-ing for almost three years now to two toddlers. Caleb is turning 3 this month and Yuri is 1.6 years old. It’s exhausting. It’s difficult. It’s outrageous. But it’s also fulfilling and satisfying at the same time. 

My motherhood journey has taught me things I never knew before. Things that could even change me as a person. Looking after two toddlers isn’t an easy job, it will NEVER be an easy job. To have a better picture, imagine a shop having its year-end sale. It’s chaotic, noisy and messy. That’s our everyday life. 

Here are some of the things that existed ever since I changed my job title to ‘Mom of Two’. 

Motherhood is hearing your child cry all the time only to find out it’s the neighbor’s kid or cat. 

Motherhood is getting paranoid all the time. You always imagine things like your son jumping out of the crib, getting suffocated by pillows, or playing with his poop. You won’t feel relieved unless they’re right in front of you. 

Motherhood is monitoring EVERY SINGLE THING. Their meals, lunchboxes, bowel movement, sweat, manners, social skills, dandruff, teeth, breath. The list goes on.

Motherhood is learning how to curse silently many times a day. I never cursed until I got kids. 

Motherhood is finding yourself crying in frustration while sweeping the floor or packing away all those useless toys. 

Motherhood is making sure that there isn’t a piece of paper, button, staple wire or if possible, even dust on the floor that my kids might get curious of how it taste like. 

Motherhood is getting insecure of your body and eventually forgetting about it. It’s getting surprised that those disgusting stretchmarks have already vanished because the last time you had an ‘overall body check’ was right after you gave birth. 

Motherhood is trying to stay up late at night because you want some time alone even if your body couldn’t make it anymore. You end up dragging your already half-asleep self to the bedroom. 

Motherhood is constantly sniffing your child’s head or nape because there is some sort of comfort in there. 

Motherhood is smiling as you watch your kids sleep and say “Another day has passed! I survived!” Yes, SURVIVED because they are like little rascals who take out the good in you. 

Motherhood is realizing how much strength you have even if you only have a few hours of sleep because you needed to wake up 4 times in the middle of the night. This post baby body will never fail you after all. 

Motherhood is watching what comes out of your mouth because they are like tiny, brilliant tape recorders.

Motherhood is feeling proud when they finally learn the proper manners you want them to exhibit. 

Motherhood is melting when you see that your kids look after each other. Sometimes, Caleb hugs and kisses Yuri out of his own will.

Motherhood is yelling all the time.

Motherhood is eating less so that they could eat more. It’s also eating fast AND less so you could run after them. Meal times are not as fun as it was before. 

Motherhood is watching Toy Story 2 and Zootopia EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Motherhood is knowing the different types of trucks and vehicles because they NEEDED to know what they’re called. 

Motherhood is getting exaggerated with your emotions so they would understand. 

Motherhood is saying “I love you.” many times a day. 

Motherhood is staring at your kids and think “I made those.”

It’s still a long way for us and there will be a lot more to experience. There are days when I’m just so tired and I just want to stop caring for a bit. But it doesn’t work that way and life has to go on. I love my kids so much and because of all that’s mentioned, I know that my kids love me too. That’s what motherhood is all about. So to my fellow moms of toddler/s, have faith that one day we’ll have the time for ourselves again. For now, it’s all about them. 

Sleepy mom,

B.

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